Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood by Richard B. Gartner

By Richard B. Gartner

With compassion and readability, Richard Gartner stocks insights from years of operating with male survivors. between this book's maximum strengths is the huge use of examples from Dr. Gartner's scientific perform to demonstrate difficulties and ideas at the route to therapeutic. past Betrayal bargains help, encouragement, and important abilities to males in recovery.
--Mike Lew, M.Ed., writer of sufferers now not and jumping upon the Mountains

""If you've been sexually abused, this ebook provide you with details, desire, path, and most significantly, the reassurance that you're not on my own. Dr. Gartner has written an available, compassionate publication that truly lays out the therapeutic method for males who have been damage or abused as little ones. no matter if you have been abused by way of a mom, a camp counselor, an area boy, or a clergyman, past Betrayal offers you the instruments you want to reclaim your lifestyles and movement on. if you are going to take one booklet with you at the therapeutic trip, this could be the one.""
--Laura Davis, coauthor of The braveness to Heal and writer of The braveness to Heal Workbook

""Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, past Betrayal shines a brilliant gentle. it's a must-read for a person concerned.""
--Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., writer of Silently Seduced

""Beyond Betrayal cuts throughout the disgrace, confusion, false impression, and worry that so frequently accompany the abuse of men and replaces them with transparent details. i'll start to use it instantly with my sufferers and imagine that different clinicians will accomplish that as well.""
--Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., writer of therapeutic the Incest Wound and reminiscences of Sexual Abuse

""Beyond Betrayal deals males easy phrases of wish and a significant option to triumph over the invisibility, stigma, and disgrace they've got persisted. Many males and their households will locate this publication a therapeutic aid.""
--Jack Drescher, M.D., writer of Psychoanalytic remedy and the homosexual Man

""Dr. Gartner writes in a way any reader will locate available. not just does he comprehend the subject of men, sexual abuse, and restoration, yet he can clarify it to people who have to know.""
--Dr. Mic Hunter, writer of Abused Boys and editor of grownup Survivors of Sexual Abuse: therapy Innovations

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Extra info for Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse

Example text

I feel like I’m ten years old. ” He said he didn’t really know how to be older than a teenager. In his own mind, most adult men were like the many older boys or men who’d abused him, all of whom he assumed were straight. He felt he’d have to behave abusively if he were a “regular” heterosexual adult man. In contrast, he saw gay men as societal victims. He wanted to be neither gay nor a victim but was terribly afraid he was both. So he retreated to a seemingly asexual, innocent adolescent posture.

We’ll discuss this in chapter 4. sexual abuse and manhood 31 Sometimes men rewrite history, changing troubling experiences so that they seem benign or pleasurable. Research shows that boys often say their abuse was unwanted if they’re asked shortly after the incident. ) They soon shift their feelings, however. Later, boys often say their abuse was a positive experience, or at least not negative. They may even boast how lucky they were to have been sexually initiated early. ) Only in adulthood do they connect current life problems back to their victimization.

He tried to treat it as a joke, but they started to get nasty, especially when he flushed and eventually wept in exasperation and helplessness. The men derisively mimicked his crying as he got angrier and angrier. Finally, they told him they’d lent Seth’s car to another worker who needed to take his wife to the hospital. Seth felt as he had since childhood—that men who considered him odd and unmale had turned him into a victimized fool. He’d always felt a sexual abuse and manhood 33 sense of apartness because of his interest in solitary, artistic activities and his dislike of team sports.

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