By Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg
Sensible, confirmed steps convey find out how to rework forty universal self-defeating behaviors, together with procratination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, uprising, state of no activity, and more.
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Additional info for Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
John was called upon to help care for him. After a few days of nursing this once strong man, the son's heart began to soften. " "Another year older anywayr" sighed his father. John was stunned. His father had never uttered a self-deprecating word in his life. As he watched him struggle with his shoelaces,John recalled that the old mar had been raised by siblings and had been more deprivec of paternal affection than John himself. " The father's eyes welled with tears. He whispered words that meant more to John than a roomful of Grammy Awards: "I'm proud of you, too.
A powerful defense mechanism, blaming amounts to finding a target for your anger and frustration. It protects you from having to own up to your own shortcomings. However, making your problems someone else's fault leaves you in a passive position. It feels good to be exempt from responsibility, but it keeps you from taking steps to remedy your situation. Similarly, not forgetting is the equivalent of continuing to remember. That too is a form of self-protection. You think that remembering a past hurt will keep you from letting your guard down, thereby protecting you  GET OUT OF YOUR O$(/N WAY from being caught unaware and gening hurt again.
Ihen is it safe to forget? rVhen you have learned whatever you need to know to prevent a hurtful situation from recurring. " _CONFUCIUS Albert was an ambitious young executive with his eye on a position that was going to open up in his firm. During the time he was trying to impress his superiors and maneuver for advantage, he attended a company function with his wife, Sherry. An artist who danced to her own drumbeat, Sherry had too much to drink ttrat night and embarrassed Albert with careless remarks.