Locked in a Violent Embrace: Understanding and Intervening by Zvi C. Eisikovits, Eli Buchbinder

By Zvi C. Eisikovits, Eli Buchbinder

Representing a wholly new method of household violence interventions, this e-book is predicated on information accrued by way of the authors over the last 12 years from a sequence of qualitative reports and scientific perform with battered ladies and their batterers.

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Additional resources for Locked in a Violent Embrace: Understanding and Intervening in Domestic Violence

Sample text

The man quoted here combines the effect of distance and time to achieve silence and successfully avoid dialogue with his partner. Not having an external audience enables him to calm down and to process the interpersonal events. By distancing his partner, he gets close to himself. In this way, he expresses that interpersonal relations interfere with authentic inner processes. He uses the T V as a buffer between himself and the woman. Last, the man dichotomizes between inner dialogue, which is authentic, and external dialogue, which he regards as a mere show.

That a man should raise his hand to a woman . . seems strange"). , "he kept begging and begging . . he said he'll be all r i g h t . . " ) . , "whatever will happen will happen") and presents her parents as an important source of support. The more decisive she presents herself to be in leaving, the more her decision to return appears as a free choice. The man constructs the negotiation in quite the opposite terms. The only points of correspondence between the two narratives are the fact that she left and returned.

Her fear to speak out and her subsequent silence is now reinterpreted by the man as an acknowledgment of guilt and hostile unwillingness to involve him in her struggle. When the man finds out that problems were hidden, he sees her reticence as "lies" and as intended to humiliate him. He attempts to reestablish control by further escalating his anger by violence. This in turn con­ firms the woman in her conviction that she was right to keep silent. The man often interpreted her silence as aggressive: I keep screaming and at times I slap her.

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